I am smiling...
this should scare you
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
When Shakespeare met Raabri...
The thing I regret the MOST…
I, William Shakespeare, fondly known as The Bard, remember that day accurately. It was 14th February. Yes, it was Valentine’s Day. I gathered courage and decided to propose my childhood love. She was none other than the most happening Indian beauty “Rabri Yadav”. God must have taken all his time to create her. She is celestial beauty personified.
14th February
I reached her village. It was a typical village with loads of cattle. It was morning. All were busy with their daily chores viz. brushing their teeth with a neem stick, bathing out in the open with their cows, and shouting at the top of their voice, “Aur Shaakspari Bhaiya, kaisan ho?” I was not able to get who this shaakspaari is. Any ways, I will tell you about my Sweety. I went to her place. It is a huge shed with decorated with dry hay. There she is, playing with the buffalo. She looks so innocent. I checked the surroundings whether there was anyone to beat me, in case she doesn’t accept my proposal. There was no one, so I moved ahead.
As soon as I reached the shed, the cow started singing. No, I am serious; it was one of my sonnets. I was motivated and directly went to her. She was not at all shocked as if she knew that it would happen. I bent down, took her hands in mine and gave her the roses and milk chocolate that I had brought for her. Her hands smelled of cow dung. It was a perfume for me. To my utter surprise, She accepted. I asked her out. She agreed.
We went to a dhaaba just outside her place. We talked a lot and had great fun. She told me about her weirdest fantasies about cows and buffaloes and how her boyfriend would propose her with a glass of milk. As it was a breakfast date, not an evening one, usually insane people go on. I called for the waiter, but there was none. It was a self service dhaaba. I got a glass of milk and proposed her as she wished. She started blushing; she looked prettier than ever. We talked about her past crushes. But she was my one and only love. Just when I was going to pay the bill, she asked me to dutch. But I insisted so she agreed.
After two months of continuous dating, we decided to get married. I decided the venue and timing. It was a grand shed complete with cattle, which she loves. I arranged for the priest and decorations. I reached their on time and waited for her. She didn’t come till one hour. I waited anxiously to see the gorgeous Indian Bride. All my relatives arrived but there was no sign of hers. On top of that, Priest continuously reminding “ Shaadi ka muhurat nikala jar aha hai” I was tensed, ‘ will she, won’t she?”
Soon the entire atmosphere filled with cow dung perfume. I got a hint that she has come. She came in a awesome red trousseau. Mostly Manish Malhotra designed it for her, that too for free. She was mysteriously smiling. Her enigmatic smile took my heart. I saw her family members and relatives arriving in dozen. Soon, the entire shed filled with alien looking people. I wanted a quiet wedding. I had told her in advance. But let it be, anything for her.
She came and went to the backside of the shed. Soon she was invisible. I got tensd and started searching for her. A last, I found her at the backyard. There she is. I approached her to ask the problem. She was sitting with her legs crossed. I went to her and just when I bent down, I heard lots of cows and buffaloes moving towards me. Before I could make out what’s happening, a big fat buffalo with a weird man riding it. He was a stout fellow with a big paunch. He had a receding hairline and was dressed in a rural Indian outfit. I was scared to death. He Came. He Saw Me. He Conquered. He hit me on my head with a milk Can.
Ohh!! It is not rocket Science that I won’t understand. She told me in cut and clear words, “hum to hamare laalu se shaadi karungi, hum toh tumse isiliye batiya rahe the ki hum thoda bahut angrezi shikh jaayen aur agle election main hum thoda rob jhaad saken”
AB AAP JA SAKTE HAIN
My love life ended there. Obviously, I married but I wont ever forget my first love. She was everything for me. I lost all trust on Women after rabbo( I use to call her) ditched me. But I have asked God to make me LALOO PRASAD YADAV in my next birth so that I can teach her a lesson.
I, William Shakespeare, fondly known as The Bard, remember that day accurately. It was 14th February. Yes, it was Valentine’s Day. I gathered courage and decided to propose my childhood love. She was none other than the most happening Indian beauty “Rabri Yadav”. God must have taken all his time to create her. She is celestial beauty personified.
14th February
I reached her village. It was a typical village with loads of cattle. It was morning. All were busy with their daily chores viz. brushing their teeth with a neem stick, bathing out in the open with their cows, and shouting at the top of their voice, “Aur Shaakspari Bhaiya, kaisan ho?” I was not able to get who this shaakspaari is. Any ways, I will tell you about my Sweety. I went to her place. It is a huge shed with decorated with dry hay. There she is, playing with the buffalo. She looks so innocent. I checked the surroundings whether there was anyone to beat me, in case she doesn’t accept my proposal. There was no one, so I moved ahead.
As soon as I reached the shed, the cow started singing. No, I am serious; it was one of my sonnets. I was motivated and directly went to her. She was not at all shocked as if she knew that it would happen. I bent down, took her hands in mine and gave her the roses and milk chocolate that I had brought for her. Her hands smelled of cow dung. It was a perfume for me. To my utter surprise, She accepted. I asked her out. She agreed.
We went to a dhaaba just outside her place. We talked a lot and had great fun. She told me about her weirdest fantasies about cows and buffaloes and how her boyfriend would propose her with a glass of milk. As it was a breakfast date, not an evening one, usually insane people go on. I called for the waiter, but there was none. It was a self service dhaaba. I got a glass of milk and proposed her as she wished. She started blushing; she looked prettier than ever. We talked about her past crushes. But she was my one and only love. Just when I was going to pay the bill, she asked me to dutch. But I insisted so she agreed.
After two months of continuous dating, we decided to get married. I decided the venue and timing. It was a grand shed complete with cattle, which she loves. I arranged for the priest and decorations. I reached their on time and waited for her. She didn’t come till one hour. I waited anxiously to see the gorgeous Indian Bride. All my relatives arrived but there was no sign of hers. On top of that, Priest continuously reminding “ Shaadi ka muhurat nikala jar aha hai” I was tensed, ‘ will she, won’t she?”
Soon the entire atmosphere filled with cow dung perfume. I got a hint that she has come. She came in a awesome red trousseau. Mostly Manish Malhotra designed it for her, that too for free. She was mysteriously smiling. Her enigmatic smile took my heart. I saw her family members and relatives arriving in dozen. Soon, the entire shed filled with alien looking people. I wanted a quiet wedding. I had told her in advance. But let it be, anything for her.
She came and went to the backside of the shed. Soon she was invisible. I got tensd and started searching for her. A last, I found her at the backyard. There she is. I approached her to ask the problem. She was sitting with her legs crossed. I went to her and just when I bent down, I heard lots of cows and buffaloes moving towards me. Before I could make out what’s happening, a big fat buffalo with a weird man riding it. He was a stout fellow with a big paunch. He had a receding hairline and was dressed in a rural Indian outfit. I was scared to death. He Came. He Saw Me. He Conquered. He hit me on my head with a milk Can.
Ohh!! It is not rocket Science that I won’t understand. She told me in cut and clear words, “hum to hamare laalu se shaadi karungi, hum toh tumse isiliye batiya rahe the ki hum thoda bahut angrezi shikh jaayen aur agle election main hum thoda rob jhaad saken”
AB AAP JA SAKTE HAIN
My love life ended there. Obviously, I married but I wont ever forget my first love. She was everything for me. I lost all trust on Women after rabbo( I use to call her) ditched me. But I have asked God to make me LALOO PRASAD YADAV in my next birth so that I can teach her a lesson.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
