Chained Thoughts

Living my life in a viscious circle
Oblivious of a corner
Nor a destination
Dried out of fascination

My ambitions are dependent
And thoughts are chained
Have a particular stand
Which is hard to understand

Its not out of happiness
Nor a sorrow may be
But it is full of dreams
Unbaked though it seems

Want to free the minds
Of surfaced dependency
No doubt its a parasite
Which needs a tough fite

For me, its not money
Rather its convenience
Which makes life busy
And my head dizzy

A bag full of questions
Hunting for solutions
But i think its dependancy
Which hurts my fancy

A bath in my thoughts
Followed by a weep a cry
Stop!!! lifes not tough
Rather it is rough

Its not my fault
For its my make
Finding faults here n there
Ending its a stupid fair

Sayin sorry again n so
Will not make things better
By pumping a guilt factor
Fifty gallons per hectare

This is no poetry
But my chained thoughts
Spilling outta everywhere
Changin lanes in fast gear

What can be said in New Year rhymes,
That's not been said a thousand times?
The new years come, the old years go,
We know we dream, we dream we know.
We rise up laughing with the light,
We lie down weeping with the night.
We hug the world until it stings,
We curse it then and sigh for wings.
We live, we love, we woo, we wed,
We wreathe our prides, we sheet our dead.
We laugh, we weep, we hope, we fear,
And that's the burden of a year.
by Ella

My jottings are brief
like a roadside flower
that passers-by see
but do not remember
- Tagore

My love has an alzheimer's disease
He forgets that I do exist

the other day i read a book, the Book

Earlier in childhood,I use to emulate my mom...waiting for the day when i will look exactly like her. Her dressing sense, minimal make-up, foot-wear and every little act. One thing i got from her is her habit of reading, and i m glad to have this legacy of thoughts.

The other day i read a book. a series of reasons lead me to read the book.

I have always waited to grow up. In school, waiting to go to college and in college, waitin for a job. Our lives are an endless wait, inspite of enjoying the present, we wait for that utopian future.

I got a job finally after waiting for two months at home. I was happy indeed. But on job, I used to wait for Holidays; yes that's the wait. During college vacations, I use to hunt for odd jobs to kill time; and on jobs, I hunt for odd vacations to find some time.

This went on, and sometimes lack for time for myself, added to my frustration. But one day, I was awarded sudden vacations. I was diagonised with pox. Indeed God is great. Mild pox gave me some time to watch all those movies in my archives which were being postponed for quite some time. Then sleep...aah utter pleasure. During school, I hated sleeping in noon, but now, its like amrit.

But after first two days, i started missin work to my surprise. My friends told me to paint, (i did); some told me to read (i completed a book)..all this was done in the first two days. Then one of the good friend told me to read Shrimad Bhagwat Geeta.

I rememebered I brought one from my Granny. (surprisingly, her name is Geeta and she loves reading the holy book, in fact she reads it in parts almost five times a day)
I started reading.

The book is magical i must say. Or in other words, blessed by Lord Krishna, the almighty. I found solace in the alluring words. It gave me hope, that if i perform my best, no one can stop me from satisfaction. they say "teaching" is not important. but "what you learn, what you absorb" is important.

And i learnt about "karm". Its always necessary to occupy yourselves with some or the other thing. it is whether you are learning something i.e. getting knowledge from the surroundings, or else you are executing what you have learnt earlier. And that's the case, we have an objective right from our childhood, to reach the next stage(like the video game) from school to college to job to promotion. Or from single person to best friends to couple to family.

Even when we think, we are not doing anything, say, just sitting in the backyard watching nature, we are learning. We are learning to be selfish like nature, which always gives fresh things to us, when on the other hand, we give her only misery. And that what makes each person different from other.

My mantras from the holy book are:

Work to learn. Learn to work
Not to think about the result
Not to take unnecessary stress
Never doubt anything
Pray God before having food
Not to be jealous
Expectations lead to worries
Anger hurts yourself
Don't be afraid of anything
Maintain balance (sukh me adhik khush na hona, na dukh me adhik dukhi)

I know i m not the write person to comment on such a holy book which has touched a lives of millions. But i tried to make a point of what i understood and observed by making sense of words.

I was able to relate to the book, and person of every age can do it easily, i think. It gave me solace to my warring mind. Now i think i will try to mellow down (at least for some days) and try reading it again and again.

Stranger in my own world

It’s the wait
It’s the wait that makes me live longer
That makes my thoughts wander
And my feelings go fonder
what makes me ponder...

A second look at the time
Couple of hours to go home
Cup of coffee, stare at the lappy
And a round of chats
With ol’ n new friends

Finally home in the company
Of family and neighbors
Food, rest and li’l bit work
A bed and a book
With phone on my side

A ring from a friend
Ends the eternal wait
Chitter, chatter n gossip
Blanket from toe to tip
Snores chase the chores

Morning again haunts me
It’s the packing that we
Engage the entire time
Rush to reach the office
Not to be late again

From home to office
We just work
Packing and re-packing
Hunt for what’s lacking
Is the crux of being

The wait makes me stronger
Makin moments stay longer
Day after day I wait
To become a stranger
In my own world